MARC NIELSON* (He/Him)
Time can be so disconcerting. Every year that goes by, I find myself marveling at how little I’ve accomplished, and I feel a sense of deep self-satisfaction. When I was a child, I was asked by my parents what I wanted my long-term goals to be, and I said, “Trains!” So they waited a few more years and asked me again. This time, I told them that what I wanted most out of life is to never be remembered for doing anything ever, and I’ve stuck to that. Nobody remembers the time I scored the winning touchdown at the 2018 Super Bowl, or when I was the first human ever to boogie board across the Atlantic Ocean, or even the time when I was the only person to fly a solo mission to the moon for NASA. Nobody remembers because I wasn’t there, and those things didn’t happen. So, as you are watching this performance, I would ask you to remember that the actor on stage is not me, I am not here, and none of this is happening. God Bless.
